buttocks

So, i have to ask.. is the texture on toilet paper just to make it look pretty and feel good in your hand, or does it really increase the poop-per-square-inch pickup ratio?

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It really depends on the job at hand. It is a very competitive market and the toilet paper people really try to out do each other. If you notice, most public bathrooms are filled with hard scratchy toilet paper that does not provide any coverage for your derrière. The quality of that toilet paper is not very flattering and often painful for people with sensitive buttocks. You end up using half a roll just to properly clean. I wonder how they public bathrooms function as they are just a money pit if they just stepped up the cost on a more decent quality. It wouldn’t cost as much in the long run because you wouldn’t have to constantly overstaff employees to constantly fill the containers. Its a shame. I talk about the public bathroom toilet paper because it shows how much the quality really affects what us traditional consumers purchase. The quilted textures that you ask of not only serve as a decorative function but provides an absorbent layer that soaks up the fecal matter much better than your public bathroom toilet paper. A more solid design gives you double the absorbency than a very thin design. Run a home test and you will see. Unfortunately after a night of spicy mexican at your local Taco Bell, there is just no hope for you. You might as well skip the textured design of the toilet paper and head straight to the flushable wipes and a long luke warm lemon peel bath to ensure ultimate cleanliness.